While that observation may be the punchline of a bad joke you heard once upon a time, it turns out that if you frequent a certain Seattle-based coffee chain you may indeed have bugs in your cup of Joe. Starbucks has released a statement letting everybody know that some of their drinks—specifically their Strawberry Frappuccinos—get their lovely color from an extract of dead, dried-up bugs. Now as luck would have it, they’re not the only outfit to use the mortal remains of cochineal insects to color their wares, if that makes you feel any better. Nevertheless, if you’re trying to go vegan, you’ll want to order something other than the pink Frapp.

Image courtesy Wikipedia

In the Beginning was the Percolator. While boiling your coffee to death is hardly the recommended method to make a pot, there wasn’t much in the way of an alternative until Mr Coffee came along. This drip system was worlds beyond what we had before, and it was good. One of the founders of the company that made Mr Coffee, Samuel Glazer, passed away recently. While he hadn’t been involved with the company for several years, having sold his interest in the business back in the 80s, think of Mr Glazer every time you don’t have to drink a cup on instant when you roll out of bed in the morning.

Image courtesy WPClipart.

Here at The Conspiracy we like coffee. We love coffee. We really love coffee. In the words of Pee-wee Herman, maybe we should marry it. Seems a bit extreme to us, but perhaps not so much so to a couple in Tulsa, who married not coffee but each other at the local Starbucks. Apparently they courted in their favorite coffee shop, so it seemed only right that they seal the deal in the same location. The store was closed at the time, so their exchanging of vows wasn’t drowned out by baristas calling out drink orders. Anybody for a Champagne Macchiato?

Gotta’ have that morning cup of inspiration, but just can’t be bothered with little things like taste and aroma? Then maybe what you need is inhalable caffeine. AeroShot comes in a plastic inhaler that shoots powdered caffeine directly onto the tongue, bypassing the line at Starbucks, the espresso machine, and presumably the rush to find the restroom an hour later.

Thanks, but I’ll stick with my mug of French Roast, if it’s all the same to you….